Friday, June 5, 2009

The Alpha Male: An Endangered Species


I pride myself with being very masculine, I consider myself an Alpha Male. I’m not an extremist so I don’t have a beard like Chuck Norris, I can’t open a 3 star ratchet merely by swinging my forearm and I don’t open my beer with my teeth. I was born in 1975 and grew up during a time when blue was for boys and pink was for girls, with no exceptions. My father was the very epitome of masculinity. I can still remember the smell of his Big Wheel and Old Spice colognes, the very fragrance of manliness. He was the head of the household, emanated quiet confidence and had “swagger” long before the name was coined. He was, and still is a very cool dude. Come to think of it, all the men that played a part in my upbringing were very manly. It is for this reason that I have such a hard time adjusting to this new species of Jamaican male who insist on blurring the gender lines. What’s the deal with wearing pants so tight you have to carry your wallet and keys in your hands? When did it become fashionable for men to bleach their skin and tweeze their eyebrows? Who is importing the scarves into the country? I need answers! By comparison more and more Jamaican men are beginning to make Boy George look like a ragamuffin. I have no problem with grooming but please don’t go overboard. If you take away the mane how will you differentiate between the king of the jungle and one of his lionesses?

140 comments:

Jamaipanese said...

excellent post that I agree with and I am 10 years your junior.

aah yes, indeed a sad time in our island nation.

I fear what we will become in a few years because it seems that only yesterday some of the things happening now were IMPOSSIBLE

Stunner said...

I agree, it seems our men have lost all sense of identity and are bordering of what we know as feminine. All this tight pants above the ankle, pink shirts and shaved eyebrows, and they say they bun fyah fi gays, yet they dress like cross dressers. Confused set of youths.

I can understand the scarf in the the dreaded cold and snow of the northern US states and Canada, as I had to wear one when I was there, but come on, there is no need for it here in this damn heat!

owen said...

things are the same as they have always been, its only seems worst now because you have more free time to focus on it

Gussie said...

@Jamaipanese, Stunner:
We can only hope that this is a fad like the jheri curl, and one day it will be okay for men to be masculine again.

@Owen:
I disagree. The 21st century has brought us the man purse, scarves, tight pants, excessive grooming and Keith 'Shebada' Ramsey.

Yardyute said...

Leave me and my pink shirts Mr. Clarke!!!
The girls love to see me in them!

owen said...

well you can disagree all you want. We as Jamaicans tend to jump on "topical bandwangons" too much instead taking things into perspective.

Gussie said...

@Yardyute:
I honestly don’t think that wearing a pink shirt makes a man feminine. However, a pink blouse is a whole different story. The “pink for girls and blue for boys” reference was just to highlight the contrast between what was considered masculine then versus what obtains now.

Yardyute said...

@Gussie:
I heard someone say "Pants fi have room"...
My thoughts were... "Afta a nuh house!"

Furthermore... No man should be checking the tightness of my pants!!!
Lava!

Even if a man is having a conversation with another man, his eyes should be above sea-level. No pre-ing of the lower regions is allowed!
Judgement!

Too many women walking around for a man to be checking another man's outfit.
Lightning!

Mad Bull said...

Interesting post. The thing is, when I go home, (admittedly for short periods) I never see these men you talking about. You sure that there are so many of them?

Gussie said...

@Mad Bull:
Initially this type of dressing could only be found in the dancehall and party scene but in recent times I’ve seen it on the plazas, at movies etc. School boys have gotten in on the act and have started to “take in” their khaki. Then I got the shock of my life at my uncle’s funeral held way outside the corporate area where I saw some of the mourners wearing close fitting pants and scarves in the middle of the day.

I should add this to my list of pet peeves.

http://gussieclarke.blogspot.com/2009/05/pet-peeves_13.html

Maybe its just a minor annoyance for most people, but it sure does annoy the hell out of me.

Jdid said...

funny, just 1/2 hr ago i was just discussing this with a friend who went to jamaica a few weeks back. said the young boys had their eyebrows more done up than his wife.

now i heard about metrosexuality but thats carrying it a bit too far. whats that all about.

catalyst said...

@Owen..

You sound like one of them, i bet you have a collection of scarfs and tight jeans in your closet... <-- step out!

townecrier said...

It annoys me as well, I went into the shoe store in angels plaza looking for work shoes. Didn't find what I wanted so browsed the belts and this girl had the audacity to suggest a purse hanging up beside them... she calls them man bags but IMHO putting a longer strap on a purse does not transform it into something other than a purse. I informed the attendant that I was not that kind of man.

I also saw a man in red capris. Since when was it acceptable for men to wear such things? [ http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Capri_pants ]

@ Yardyute, when looking out at the world at medium to long distances you see objects as a whole. There is no way you can look across the road and somehow avoid seeing what a person is wearing from the waist down because you see all of them.

Lava splash on your f*****g ignorance. It's people like you who refuse to say two, and replace it with few which actually means 3. And then you wonder why the children can't get ahead in life.

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