LIME?

I just saw a story on the news about Cable and Wireless and their plans to rebrand their Caribbean operations to LIME (Landline, Internet, Mobile and Entertainment). This is a marketing nightmare, they can’t be serious. Do they really want to associate their products and services with a sour fruit that is the bastard of the citrus family? One wonders if they couldn’t rearrange the letters to spell something else. What does the Entertainment component mean? Do they plan launch cable TV? I hope it’s not too late to reconsider because this seems like corporate suicide.

Father Hangman?

Things are really bad in Jamaica when ministers of religion are calling for the reinstatement of capital punishment. One clergy man has even gone as far as disregarding the sixth commandment “thou shall not kill” by volunteering his services as a hangman. Personally, I am pro-death penalty and in agreement with these holy men. The government both past and present obviously have no clue how to stem the island’s high murder rate which is now spiralling out of control. We have nothing to lose, I say we give it a try. After all "If we execute murderers and there is in fact no deterrent effect, we have killed a bunch of murderers. If we fail to execute murderers, and doing so would in fact have deterred other murders, we have allowed the killing of a bunch of innocent victims. I would much rather risk the former. This, to me, is not a tough call." - John McAdams

Homie-Lover-Friend

Remember that song by R. Kelly off his 12 Play album? In many cases your homie, your lover and your friend are potentially three separate persons but if you’re really fortunate these individuals are one in the same. Isn’t that ideal, one person who can satisfy all your needs? Just imagine, she can be one of the guys when you’re hanging with your friends. The sex is so mind-blowing you feel like you’re playing the leading role in the film adaptation of “Kama Sutra”. She is your best friend, listens and understands, makes you happy and is always there for you.

Daydreaming

I’ve been having a recurring daydream for the last couple days around noon about being on a beach somewhere. Is my subconscious trying to tell me something? My imagination has always been on par with substance abusers and science fiction authors so these daydreams are quite vivid. I can almost feel the rays of the sun even though I’m seated in an air conditioned office. It’s been awhile since I’ve journeyed to the edge of the island where the waves crash against the shoreline. I think it’s time I make this dream a reality.

Asafa, Run Don't Dance?

Asafa’s folks aren’t too pleased about their son doing the latest Jamaican dance moves. They were so discontented that they spoke to the good folks at the Jamaican Star who in turn published the story. Apparently doing the “Nuh Linga” and “Gully Creepa” will surely lead him down a path of destruction which will certainly culminate with his soul burning in hell for all eternity. William and Cislyn, I think that a phone call would suffice instead of emasculating and reprimanding your twenty five year old son in the public eye. Like most Jamaicans, I think it’s good to finally see him loosen up and come out of his shell, but hey I’m just some dude. I think now we have a little more insight into why Asafa is he is the way he is.

See article here

Family of Skin Bleachers?

Marcus Garvey must be turning in his grave right now. Whatever happened to "Black is Beautiful?" This is so disturbing, its things like this that make me ashamed to be Jamaican at times. There is no denying it, skin bleaching or "rubbing" is clearly an epidemic and cannot be taken lightly. If we don’t stop this foolishness bleaching will become as much a part of our culture as ackee and saltfish. I guess the family that rubs together stays together.

My Private Hell

God I hate this public sector job, I’ve been “acting” in the same position for close to two years now. I guess I shouldn’t be complaining, there are other directors and senior managers that have been acting in their positions for four or five years without appointment. No wonder they call this place Hollywood. Problem is no HR directors stay around long enough to implement a good appraisal system. I’m sick to my stomach of the customary lunch room banter about who’s sleeping with whom or who should go home on Digicel Rising Stars. I don’t know who SLR is but my co-workers sure seem to hate their/his/her guts. Who cares if Elephant Man’s Range Rover broke down in New Kingston or that Macka Diamond is getting married to some white dude or that there’s a war brewing between Ninja Man and Bounty Killer? I had no idea Ninja Man was still relevant, go figure. Apparently it isn’t worth discussing here unless its “entertainment news”. Forget about current affairs “Barack who?”

Oh how I long for an intellectual peer to converse with in this place filled with small minds. Thank god for a quick soduku or crossword puzzle after lunch to preserve my sanity. I was hoping that entrepreneurship would be my ticket out of this place but things aren’t going as quickly as I’d have liked, maybe I’m too damn impatient. Oh how I long for the day when I can put today’s date on my resignation letter just before I print, sign and hand deliver it to the HR department. For all of you stuck in the struggle, hang in there our day will come.