The Alpha Male: An Endangered Species

I pride myself with being very masculine, I consider myself an Alpha Male. I’m not an extremist so I don’t have a beard like Chuck Norris, I can’t open a 3 star ratchet merely by swinging my forearm and I don’t open my beer with my teeth. I was born in 1975 and grew up during a time when blue was for boys and pink was for girls, with no exceptions. My father was the very epitome of masculinity. I can still remember the smell of his Big Wheel and Old Spice colognes, the very fragrance of manliness. He was the head of the household, emanated quiet confidence and had “swagger” long before the name was coined. He was, and still is a very cool dude. Come to think of it, all the men that played a part in my upbringing were very manly. It is for this reason that I have such a hard time adjusting to this new species of Jamaican male who insist on blurring the gender lines. What’s the deal with wearing pants so tight you have to carry your wallet and keys in your hands? When did it become fashionable for men to bleach their skin and tweeze their eyebrows? Who is importing the scarves into the country? I need answers! By comparison more and more Jamaican men are beginning to make Boy George look like a ragamuffin. I have no problem with grooming but please don’t go overboard. If you take away the mane how will you differentiate between the king of the jungle and one of his lionesses?