Happy New Year

As a child I often imagined what life would be like in 2009/10. For sure I’d have a closet full of unitards (like those on Star Trek), a robot dog named Astro and my very own flying car. I can attribute that to my steady diet of comics, cartoons and science fiction movies at the time. Here we are present day and even though there’s no shiny new future I’m still a dreamer who’s optimistic about the future. It is the time of year when I assess the year gone by and set attainable goals for the 2009. This new year I’ll carry forward the goals that I didn’t accomplish in 2008 and continue to preserve my sanity by maintaining the delicate balance between work and play. I also intend to focus on my health as well as my wealth and work on my relationship with the man upstairs. I urge you to make realistic resolutions so you don’t find yourself recycling them next year. 2009 is yours to claim, seize it for yourselves. Happy New Year folks, thanks for stopping by and I’ll see you next year!

Who Stole Christmas?

The Grinch isn’t even a suspect, this year we can pin it on the current economic crisis. It’s exactly one week away from Christmas day. I should be swimming in Christmas spirit or at least be waist deep in yuletide cheer by now. Somehow that’s just not the case and apparently I’m not alone. Christmas has always been a commercial holiday but who knew that the economy would have such an adverse effect on our Christmas "spirit". We may have to resort to window shopping sprees and won’t be able to leave our pepper lights on all night because of the energy bill, but let’s make this Christmas more spiritual and less commercial because God knows Jamaica needs Jesus. Let the Christmas catch you in a good mood. Happy holidays folks!

How To Steal a Beach

500 truckloads of sand disappeared without a trace from a beach in Trelawny earlier this year. Six months and thousands of man-hours later the authorities have finally arrested three persons. How do you steal a quarter mile of white sand beach and evade police for six months? That's a lot of hush money. We have witnessed one of the biggest cover-ups that Jamaica has ever seen. This should get interesting as only influential high-ranking persons could mobilize the trucks, excavators and manpower necessary to pull off this heist. I can’t wait to see how this one unfolds.

See article here

Ramping Shop

Spice: Well you haffi ram it hard, the cocky nuh fi light, damage it fi spite not because mi p*ssy tight

Vybz Kartel: Suppose mi put it pon the left, can you tek it pon the right?

Spice: Mi nipple dem a ripe sen it up inna mi tripe.

Those were a few lines from the increasingly popular single “Ramping Shop” by Vybz Kartel and Spice. For some there’s a thin line between pleasure and pain, while for others they’re synonyms. These days a man’s sexual prowess is determined by how much he can hurt his partner during sex, go figure. I like rough sex from time to time but I’m not too keen about hitting a girl’s tripe (intestines) during intercourse, disturbing stuff. The aggression in Jamaican society has finally made its way into the bedroom. I hope these song lyrics and others like them are just for “entertainment” and pure shock value.

"Mobile" Wars

Mobile companies giving away cars, how funny is that? Digicel and newcomer Claro recently rolled out their Christmas promotions. I’m a customer of the other mobile company so I don’t know how their products and services match up, but Claro has won the “mobile” war hands down. Digicel’s offering of fourteen Mini Coopers was very impressive up until Claro started giving away C-Class Mercedes Benzes. Claro is giving away nine of these German autos, one every weekend until mid-January 2009. With pockets this deep it’s just a matter of time before they loosen Digicel’s stronghold in Jamaica.