The Sky Is Falling!

I can’t recall ever being this happy to see water falling from the sky. I had to open my office window and waste the precious AC just to see, hear and smell the rain for myself. I pray this signals the end of the drought that we’ve been experiencing in the land of wood and water. Maybe now the National Water Commission (NWC) will forgo their gestapo-like regulations that threatened to imprison anyone caught watering their lawn or washing their motor vehicle. Can you imagine a thirty day sentence for using metered water that you’ve paid for? The NWC should be this vigilant when it comes to fixing broken water mains, leaky stand-pipes and fire hydrants. That said, I hope much of this rain finds its way to the various water catchment areas that supply the Hermitage Dam which is now below 30 percent of its capacity. I’m sure that this isn’t the first time our island has been affected by severe drought conditions and it won’t be the last. The suits at the NWC need to be more proactive and build more dams, afterall water is life. Both the Mona Reservoir and Hermitage Dam were built by the British prior to our independence and I doubt we’ve built any since we took down the Union Jack back in 1962.

See article here

Sumfest, The Real Review

I’m sure you’ve seen other articles in the media that have focused primarily on the performances at this year’s Reggae Sumfest. This review comes to you from the other side of the VIP/Press barrier. I attended International Night 1 on Friday night and needless to say the festival was well supported but one couldn’t help but feel that the organizers didn’t care for us, the patrons. We anticipated the inflated prices but were appalled by the full scale ban on the premium beers and stouts in Jamaica. Rumor has it that the organizers were still upset about Red Stripe’s withdrawal as title sponsor and they decided to punish them/us by banning their products from the venue. Notably absent from the bars and stalls at the venue were Red Stripe, Heineken and Guinness (all bottled and distributed in Jamaica by Red Stripe). They were replaced with Trinidadian import Carib Beer, Mackesons Stout and Jagra “with horny goat weed”. Just try ordering a Redbull and Guinness and you surely be served a Mackesons and Monster Energy drink. For some of us, having a few bottles of our favourite beer is an important part of the whole experience. Imagine a Jamaican reggae festival without the great Jamaican Beer, Tomfoolery! Thank god for a few brave vendors, members of "the resistance” who walked through the crowd and sold the contraband from crates and buckets. The show was also plagued by shoddy production. We were subjected to lengthy band changes that were at times longer than many of the performances. In previous years it was usual and customary for sound systems to entertain us during the band changes and keep our energy levels up between performances. This year we were treated to dead air, corny MCs and advertisements as if it were at intermission during the movies. The organizers undoubtedly still have a great product but they need to settle their beef and ensure that the patrons don’t get caught in the crossfire.

Jackson One for Sumfest

Officials of Reggae Sumfest announced that this year’s staging of the annual reggae festival would be dedicated to late pop icon Michael Jackson and that the remaining members of legendary group, the Jackson Five were to attend/perform. They were slated for International Night 2 on Saturday July 25. This would be their second performance in the island. The Jackson Five was the opening act for Bob Marley and the Wailers at the National Stadium back in 1975. We are now receiving conflicting stories about their attendance in the days leading up to the festival. Jermaine Jackson, the only brother with a post Jackson Five career insisted that the family was not even coming to Jamaica in interviews with TMZ and E! Online. Subsequently one of the shows directors, Robert Russell, told The Gleaner that Tito Jackson is the only one confirmed to perform. Even Prime Minister Bruce Golding got involved, he spoke with Tito and received a correspondence confirming his performance. So it seems that the headline act has dwindled from the Jackson Four to the Jackson One. I don’t know how many Jamaicans were duped into buying pre-sold tickets in anticipation of seeing the Jacksons perform, but I’m sure they’re upset. At least they’ll get a chance to see other stellar acts like Mackie Conscious, Sophia Squire and Romain Virgo, the 2007 Digicel Rising Stars winner as consolation.

Occupational Hazards

Blogosphere please forgive me for I have not blogged, it’s been thirteen days since my last post. I’ve been spending far too much time at work lately, and these days work is especially hazardous to my health. I work at one of the islands larger hospitals. Jamaica recorded its second swine flu death on Thursday and the number of confirmed cases in the island’s medical institutions has climbed to forty two. I wasn’t really concerned until some coworkers started wearing masks. Now I can’t help but worry about the potential of a swine flu outbreak. Health professionals claim that it will only get worse in the cooler months following the summer. This is compounded by the fact that Jamaicans, especially us men are reluctant to go to a doctor or seek medical attention. It is common in our culture to attribute every ailment to either stress or gas. Rest, bush-tea and Immuno-gizer are seen as viable alternatives to conventional medicine. I don't want to be a statistic. This Jamaican is reading up on the side effects of Tamiflu, avoiding people with flu-like symptoms and stocking up on hand sanitizer. I wonder if those swine flu masks are “one size fits all”

Last night the AC saved my life

My air conditioning unit at home is like fine china, only used on special occasions. On warmer nights I’ve always been able to resist the temptation to turn it on because of the resulting increase in my electricity bill. Last night my survival instinct didn’t allow me to be so frugal. My options were to either drown in my own sweat or set aside some extra money for the energy bill. Needless to say I fell asleep wrapped in my sheets while listening to the soothing humming of the AC unit outside my bedroom window. I fear I may have already developed a dependency. I probably say this every year, but this has got to be the hottest summer that I’ve ever experienced. Cold water has never tasted so good. If Jamaicans are complaining about the heat and humidity then someone should warn tourists about the searing temperature this summer. Visitors to Jamaica, If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. Be particularly alert for thieves but do not offer resistance in the event of an attempted robbery. But trust me on the sunscreen.

Judge a Book by its Cover

Is any Ponzi Schemer’s library really complete without a copy of Greed INC and License to Steal? Carlos Hill, the embattled boss of the failed Cash Plus investment scheme doesn’t seem to think so. Both books were found by liquidators after he vacated his three-storey residence in the upscale neighborhood of East Armour Heights last week. This is just one of his many properties that are to be liquidated to repay clients of his failed investment scheme. Mr. Hill quite possibly formulated his plan to swindle an entire nation while rifling through the pages of these texts. He would have gotten away with it, if it wasn't for those meddling folks at the Financial Services Commission.

See article here

Music Video Premiere: Alone

I’ve embedded a copy of Tony Rebel’s music video for his latest single “Alone”. With lyrics like “I like it alone, more than a miserable home” it’s the new soundtrack for failed relationships everywhere, something we can all relate to. The song is on Jamplified Records one-drop Movements Riddim, hats off to Rick for the brilliant production. I spent one day on the set and learned that the sun is the hottest when it’s in the middle of the sky, it takes several hours and multiple retakes to arrive at a three minute music video and finally, black people do tan. After seeing the finished product, it was all worth it in the end. It was also a pleasure meeting veteran roots reggae icon Tony Rebel.

The Alpha Male: An Endangered Species

I pride myself with being very masculine, I consider myself an Alpha Male. I’m not an extremist so I don’t have a beard like Chuck Norris, I can’t open a 3 star ratchet merely by swinging my forearm and I don’t open my beer with my teeth. I was born in 1975 and grew up during a time when blue was for boys and pink was for girls, with no exceptions. My father was the very epitome of masculinity. I can still remember the smell of his Big Wheel and Old Spice colognes, the very fragrance of manliness. He was the head of the household, emanated quiet confidence and had “swagger” long before the name was coined. He was, and still is a very cool dude. Come to think of it, all the men that played a part in my upbringing were very manly. It is for this reason that I have such a hard time adjusting to this new species of Jamaican male who insist on blurring the gender lines. What’s the deal with wearing pants so tight you have to carry your wallet and keys in your hands? When did it become fashionable for men to bleach their skin and tweeze their eyebrows? Who is importing the scarves into the country? I need answers! By comparison more and more Jamaican men are beginning to make Boy George look like a ragamuffin. I have no problem with grooming but please don’t go overboard. If you take away the mane how will you differentiate between the king of the jungle and one of his lionesses?

Yesterday was January

"Time flies", so cliché yet so very true these days. Can you believe that we’re almost half way through 2009? Last time I checked 60 minutes was still an hour and 24 hours was still equivalent to one earth day, yet here we are in June the sixth calendar month. I had so many plans for the “new year” but June still finds me doing battle with my proverbial arch nemesis, procrastination. Time is what we want most, but…what we use worst. Jaded by past misadventures in entrepreneurship I’m like the hunter that is more interested in the thrill of the hunt than actually firing a single shot. While it appears that I’ve lost the battle, I can only hope to win the war against procrastination. A coworker once told me that ideas are like parasites "they move from host to host", so once again I’ve recommitted myself and am determined to implement any one of my viable business ideas. Nothing is a waste of time if you use the experience wisely. Experience teaches me that time waits for no man and that...tomorrow is December.

Illegal Pedestrian Crossings

I didn’t take long for me to figure out what the more “industrious” Kingstonians were doing yesterday. The winner, and still most popular Labour Day project in the corporate area is...drum roll please…painting illegal pedestrian crossings across the nation’s thoroughfares. I passed three such suspect pedestrian crossings on the way to work this morning. Though traditionally a job for the National Works Agency (NWA) it has become a favourite Labour Day activity in most communities. Who cares about the legitimacy, feasibility, safety and whatnot? Jamaica is quite possibly the only country where citizens can paint their own pedestrian crossings wherever they damn well feel like without consequence.

Review: Digicel Electronics Expo 2009

I went to the Digicel Electronics Expo held at the Hilton Kingston on Saturday. While I didn’t expect to see any alien technology, I was hoping for a little more than the usual suspects (flat screen TVs, game consoles and car stereo equipment). I was a little disappointed because I can see these things on any given day if I visit the plazas. I questioned the organizer’s decision to include an insurance company, car dealer, day spa and credit union (Globe, New Line, Adam & Eve and COK) as exhibitors at an electronics expo. I also thought the legion of scantily clad twelve year old promotion girls was inappropriate. I found the surveillance (IP cameras) and vehicle tracking product offerings from Digiview Security Systems particularly interesting. Entertainment included body painting, a magician, live shows and performances. The only thing missing was the cotton candy. This marriage of school fair and electronics expo was well promoted and well attended. Sadly, It would’ve only been worthwhile for techies if they brought along their entire family.

$5,000 Bank Note

The $1,000 bill just lost its position as the “high note” in Jamaica. The Bank of Jamaica (BOJ) has announced plans to issue a $5,000 bank note in September. The note will bear the portrait of late former Prime Minister Hugh Lawson Shearer. Is the new note justified? Is there any other reason for the new note besides commemorating the life of the late prime minister? That can easily be achieved by naming a school, park or a highway after him. Generally the premise for a higher note is because the current one has lost its purchasing power and no longer carries the same value. Yet local financial analysts insist that the new note isn’t an indication that our economy is headed in the same direction of other countries with very high inflation rates and equally high-value notes. The highest denomination of currency for other Caribbean territories like Trinidad, Barbados and Cuba is $100. The Jamaican government has just announced to the world that our economy is on life support. What message are we sending to the global financial community and potential investors? No point in objecting now, it’s already a done deal they’ve already made the stencil, ordered the ink and paper. Now if they would just do us all a favor and discontinue some of these damn coins.

See article here

Pet Peeves

A pet peeve is a minor annoyance that can instill great frustration in a very small group of people, yet is experienced by everyone. I’ve listed a few of mine, they aren’t enough to change Bruce Banner into his alter ego but they sure do get under my skin.

1. Street boys and junkies. “No, Don’t Wipe It!” How many times have you screamed that to windscreen wipers at stoplights and intersections in the corporate area? I’m becoming less tolerable of these junior extortionists who insist on spraying soapy water all over my windscreen and then charging me for a service that I didn’t ask for. I’m just as annoyed by persons who wash your car without asking during the fifteen minutes you spent in the KFC and then demand money.
2. People who spend “forever” in ABM machines. You don’t need five minutes, even if your PIN is twenty characters long.
3. People who wait until they’re in front of the cashier at fast food restaurants before they look up at the menu board to decide what combo they want. Why didn’t you decide while you were waiting in line?
4. Tattoos on breasts. Why would you deface works of art? That’s like drawing a mouthstache on the Mona Lisa. Ever considered a hickey?
5. Unsolicited text messages from my mobile carrier. LIME, I’m not interested in subscribing for your silly Blingback tunes! 

What are your pet peeves?

Tax, a four letter word

In Jamaica nothing can be said to be certain except death, taxes and more recently debt and/or death by taxes. The Golding Administration has finally released the list of the previously tax-free goods and services that are now subject to GCT. Literate chicken farmers with asthma, who lease land, are thinking of buying a stand-by generator and need to have their goods transported to the market to earn some money to repair their tractors are going to be the hardest hit.

Here are 7 of 59 goods and services that will now attract GCT.

1. Brochures, pamphlets and leaflets for religious purposes and books other than schoolbooks and booklets.
   
2. Animal feeds (excluding pet food) reinstated as zero-rated
   
3. The rental or lease of land used for agricultural purposes or as a building site.
   
4. All drugs used primarily in the treatment of asthma
   
5. Apparatus or machinery designed to produce motive power, heat, light or electricity through the utilization of renewable sources of energy, for example, sun, wind and water.
   
6. Transportation of goods within Jamaica.
   
7. Repairs to agricultural equipment, tractors, implements, and aircraft and vessels used in international transportation.
   

Jamaicans have been protesting against the recent taxes imposed by the Government. Police have been busy clearing several roadblocks across the corporate area from as early as 8am. I’m not going to take any chances, I think its time I get home.

There’s a hole in the budget

There’s a hole in the budget, dear Bruce, dear Bruce
Then fix it dear Audley, dear Audley, dear Audley
With what should I fix it, dear Bruce, dear Bruce?
With taxes dear Audley, with taxes of course!

The Golding Administration has no intention to borrow to finance the 55-billion dollar shortfall in their 548-billon dollar 2009/10 budget. You don’t have to be an economist to know that this can only be achieved by increasing revenue/taxes. Adjusting General Consumption Tax and imposing a cess/tax on gasoline are most likely to head the list. Ironically this month marks the 10-year anniversary of the April gas riots in Jamaica, in 1999. Jamaicans took to the streets to protest the imposition of a gas tax by the then government, shutting down the country for four days. A reintroduction of a gas tax coupled with the hardships being experienced as a result of the current economic crisis would surely ignite wide-scale public protest. We won’t know for sure until tomorrow when the Finance Minister, Audley Shaw opens the 2009/10 budget debate. Maybe I should full my tank on the way home. Stay tuned to your radios folks.

Jamaican Hijacker?

I just had to remove “Jamaican airplane hijacker” from my list of things that I’ll never live to see. Twenty-year-old Stephen Fray somehow walked in off the streets and got past all the security checks at the Sangster’s International Airport in Montego Bay, all while carrying a loaded gun. He then made his way to the runway, boarded CanJet Flight 918 and held the crew and 140 passengers hostage. Fortunately no one was harmed in the eight-hour standoff but the damage to our already ailing tourism sector and reputation is irreparable. The international media is going to have a field day with this one. In addition to being stereotyped as always having drugs in our luggage and our tummies Jamaicans are now terrorists. We are going to be subjected so much scrutiny, security checks and searches when we travel that its best we just turn up to the airport naked and put on our clothes after we’ve boarded the flight.

See article here

Easter Recap

This was probably the first Easter that I didn’t have any bun and cheese, not counting the two slices I had at my aunt’s house on Good Friday. Like most Kingstonians, the misses and I spent the Easter holidays outside of city limits. Ocho Rios was the destination of choice, it was a party weekend and all the hotels were fully booked. We stayed at Rooms Resorts and it never ceases to amaze me how inhospitable and indifferent hotel staff can be to their fellow countrymen. Haven’t they heard about the global recession? That aside, I got my annual single-dose of soca music at Beach Jouvert on Saturday. Unlike dancehall you don’t need to know the latest dance moves, wear the latest fashion nor be concerned with anything besides having fun. Machel Montano headlined and although his set was geared towards the ladies (thank god for his backup dancers) he gave an energizing and tireless performance. I was never big on bachannal but Jouvert delivered as it usually does. I spent the rest of the weekend mostly in bed, leaving the property only for food. This Easter I managed to strike the perfect balance between rest and recreation. Even now as I reminisce I’m gazing at the calendar looking for another opportunity to leave the city for a few days and head to the coast.

Freeze it Bruce, freeze it!

Public sector workers may have to forego the 7 per cent salary increase due to them this month. The Golding administration has reneged on the terms of the latest Memorandum of Understanding and proposes a wage freeze in the public sector. The wage freeze is the latest consequence of the current economic downturn. Prime Minister Bruce Golding has warned that honouring the increase would result in the dismissal of 22,000 public sector employees. Trade union leaders are incensed and allege that it was a unilateral decision by the Prime Minister. While this civil servant is leaning towards the proposed wage freeze, I recognize that there’s no guarantee it will result in increased job security. I’m for any measure that will avert massive job cuts. I can only hope that when the dust settles the government and the trade unions will find some middle ground that will be in the best interest of public sector employees.

See article here

Achoo!

I was on a steady diet of orange juice and Theraflu this weekend. My appetite is on hiatus, a sure sign that I’m still sick. It’s been two days since I’ve craved the meat of the chicken, unheard of. The flu virus went stealth and somehow got past my usually impregnable immune system. I wasn’t spared any of the usual symptoms. What lousy timing, this has disrupted the delicate balance between rest and recreation that I so diligently strive to maintain every weekend. Even though Monday is upon me I take great solace in knowing that this is a short week, followed by a four day weekend. Fortunately it won’t be long before I can take my revenge on all this downtime and "jump up and tay lay lay". Have a great week folks.

Chin Up Gussie

Forgive me readers for I have not blogged, its been ten days since my last post. I’ve been so preoccupied with the effects of the economic downturn and the random acts of foolery (and thuggery) happening in Jamaica lately. It’s such a challenge to remain positive when everyone you converse with is a harbinger of doom. I have never wholly subscribed to the “product of your environment” ideology but I’m willing to admit that all this cynicism is beginning to influence my thoughts and emotions. I am definitely going to need a stronger form of escapism if I’m to maintain my sunny disposition in these trying times. I don’t want to complain about the thorns instead of just smelling the roses.

Gussie does Sigma 2009

I was up by 6am, unheard of for a Sunday morning. This was my first competitive event since sports day in high school. The 11th annual Sigma Corporate Run was to be my triumphant return to the winner’s circle. Weeks of intense training were to culminate in one race. We joined the sea of runners in New Kingston all dressed in their company tees. Corporate Jamaica was well represented, from the seasoned runner to the couch potato. Prior to the race Team Gussie was busy taking pictures and updating facebook statuses. The race started on time at 7:30am (I hear it always does) and we all jostled for position as we made our way up Knutsford Boulevard. Fueled by pride I managed to run all the way up to the 2K point at the intersection of Waterloo and West Kings House Roads. Unfortunately, like Achilles’ heel and Samson’s hair I was betrayed by my weakness, “flat feet”. Running soon became a brisk walk, which at times turned into a leisurely stroll. By now the fitter members of Team Gussie had disappeared up Winchester Road. There were times when I had to dig into my reserves to avoid being passed by senior citizens and mere kids. Shortly after passing the 4K mark I could faintly hear the voice of my sensei telling me to remember all my training and not to bring shame to my dojo. I was joined by my training partner and we both managed to ignore the pain and sprint all the way to the finish line. After refueling it was announced that “we” were able to raise $14.2 million for the Bustamante Hospital for Children and other paediatric wards across the island. Kudos to the organizers, it’s a worthy cause and I’m pleased to have participated. One foot rub and several hours of sleep later I heard that the results were available online. I finished in just over 44 minutes, just two minutes above the average time. I'm thrilled with my performance, not bad for my first marathon.

Faeces In Fertiliser?!?

What’s this I hear about the Jamaican Government importing cheap fertiliser containing unprocessed human faeces? The first suspect batch of fertiliser arrived in the island four months ago. Presently it’s just an allegation made by the Opposition spokesman on agriculture Roger Clarke. His claim is being strongly refuted by Agriculture Minister Christopher Tufton. The shit has hit the farm! I’m going to immediately revise my diet while they go at it in Parliament and in the media.

The next time I’m in front of a Burger King cashier my order is going to sound like this: “Can I have a number two please? No pickles, no onions, no lettuce, no tomatoes, no cucumbers, no fries. Just give me the buns, bacon strips and the beef patty”

See Observer article

I Reminisce…

I spent a good portion of the afternoon reminiscing about my childhood days growing up in St. Elizabeth. Remember when it was okay to be a child and there was no fascination with grown up stuff? A stark contrast from what obtains in today’s Jamaica. The good old days when little boys were gentlemen in training and little girls didn’t have perms but wore ribbons in their hair. I remember:

1. Breaking the coconut and grating the meat so mom could make rice and peas for Sunday dinner.
2. Listening out for the ice cream man on Sunday afternoon.
3. Doing the Uncle Art’s puzzles at the back of the comic strip in the Sunday Magazine.
4. Looking forward to my huge mug of Horlicks in the morning.
5. Stealing sips of Bailey’s Irish cream from the liquor cabinet.
6. Mastering the “pause” and “record” buttons so I could record songs off American Top 40 with Shadoe Stevens.
7. Rewinding TDK 90 minute cassettes with a pen to save my Walkman batteries.
8. Waiting for TV to sign-on in the evenings. Remember when TV would actually sign-off? Oh the horror!
9. Wondering how many times I’d hear Dennis Hall’s dry cough in today’s episode of Schools Challenge Quiz.
10. Wondering why my parents would bring umbrellas even though Roy Forrester clearly said it would be sunny.
11. Spending hours in the library doing homework. Back then Google was known as the Encyclopedia Britannica.
12. Greeting everyone and I mean everyone with Good Morning, Good Afternoon or Good Evening, lest it be said that Mrs. Clarke’s son nuh have no manners. An offence punishable by beating.

Enough Already!

The church has weighed in and cast their two cents into the ongoing debate about the purification of dancehall music. They are calling for a ban on street and community dances, particularly those where explicit lyrics are being played. I have no beef with carnival but I can’t understand how it manages to get corporate sponsorship, government approval, live TV broadcasts, police escorts and have major thoroughfares locked down on one of the the holiest days in the Christian calendar. Everyone is taking a swipe at dancehall these days. I guess it’s easier for corporate Jamaica, the church and the government to blame dancehall music for all the ills in society instead of their own shortcomings. I agree that a lot of the song lyrics are a little disturbing at times and inappropriate for wholesale public consumption but lets not get carried away. A lot of the persons who are up in arms have never even heard Ramping Shop or a "daggering" song. The government is quick to sponsor a jazz festival to the tune of USD500,000 as if this is New Orleans. Dancehall music/culture has the potential to be our biggest foreign exchange earner so lets invest in it. Stop trying to distract us from the real issues facing Jamaica. Please call off this witch-hunt.

Gussie Goes Walking

Yesterday I laced up my pumas for my first trek up Widcombe. Prior to this all my extracurricular activities were done behind closed doors and in the horizontal position. I’ve been procrastinating about this for months now and finally accepted a last minute invite by a friend of mine. We got there shortly after 5pm and joined the countless other Kingstonians who’ve been infected by the fitness bug. I knew it was uphill but didn’t know that I’d have to be bitten by a radioactive spider before attempting this walk. The air was clean and the vegetation made me forget I was still in the corporate area. That was until I got to the top and was able to gaze down at the city. The trek ended where the road ended, in a cul-de-sac. I caught my breath, crowned myself king of the hill and pat myself on the back, all while humming “eye of the tiger”. After touching some bamboo shoots, which I was “told” is customary to signify the end of the journey we proceeded downhill. That’s when the Deja vus began, or as I later discovered some of these people actually climb this hill more than once. The walk down was harder than I expected, I thought about getting KFC but ruled it out as a conflict of interests. Soon it was over and I was pleased with my performance, I’m not as out of shape as I had thought. If I keep this up the Sigma 5K is going to be a breeze. I came, I saw and I conquered!

Introducing Me

I knew it wouldn’t be long before “25 Random Things” mania would somehow make its way off facebook and infect the blogosphere. I was tagged by the good folks over there at Stunner’s Afflictions and accepted the challenge to document and share twenty five random things about me.

Gussie.....

1. is the son of a preacher man
   
2. hates public speaking and doesn’t like to be the center of attention
   
3. was once obsessed with uncovering KFC ‘s secret recipe
   
4. loves a big butt and a smile
   
5. hates books without pictures
   
6. is a momma’s boy
   
7. is a spontaneous, adventurous, alpha male who loves the outdoors
   
8. only watches black porn
   
9. is a hopeless romantic who loves to be in love
   
10. looks forward to marriage and often daydreams about it
    
11. had a huge crush on lauryn hill
    
12. collects car and GQ magazines
    
13. buys his shirts one size too small
    
14. prefers sex with the lights on. I almost insist on it
    
15. has a slight lisp
    
16. prefers boxer briefs but often goes commando
    
17. only owns one pair of sneakers
    
18. is a slave to his appetite, i love to eat
    
19. is lost without his blackberry
    
20. prefers pepsi over coke, there’s no comparison really
    
21. is short tempered. I’m all dynamite and no fuse
    
22. loves to laugh and make others laugh
    
23. dislikes the sound of his own voice, no personalized voice mail for me
    
24. loves the arts and recently took up painting
    
25. is his own worst critic
    

On Second Thought...

It wasn’t so long ago that I referred to my job as my private hell. It’s still my least favourite place to spend eight hours a day but these days I’m far more appreciative. What a difference a few months and global recession can make? Public sector jobs seem to be more resilient to recession than those in the private sector. Companies dropping the axe include Air Jamaica; more than 600, ALUMINIA Partners of Jamaica, 250; Gleaner Company, 70 and Jamaica Money Market Brokers Limited, 50. These numbers are very disturbing and depressing even to a "silver lining finding", "opportunity in adversity seeking", elder optimist like me. With so many Jamaicans becoming causalities of redundancies and job cuts this civil servant now thinks of his cup as half full instead of half empty.

Sex in Recession

Sex sells but not as much as it used to. Not even the Jamaican sex industry is recession-proof, it’s the latest casualty of the current economic crisis. Though far more resilient than other industries it isn’t immune to the economics of supply and demand. Prostitutes and sensual massage parlours have seen a 50% decline in profits and clientele. A sensual massage usually comes in second when it’s up against gas for the car, food for the table or lunch money for the kids. Jamaican sex workers are scrambling to retain customers by offering a 33% reduction in their hourly rates, from J$1,500 to J$1,000. You know it’s bad when you can buy sex for the price of a pizza or a bucket of fried chicken.

See article here

Adios G-G

Sir Kenneth Hall, Jamaica’s Governor General has retired. I forgot that we even had a G-G and was only reminded when I read the article about him stepping down. No disrespect to Sir Kenneth but is this position still relevant? What’s his role in Jamaica’s political landscape? I liken the G-G to an introverted co-worker who you only see when there’s a fire drill. Seriously, what does the G-G do besides visit hospitals, read the queen’s Christmas message at Christmas time and kiss beauty queens? If you’re a seventies baby like me you’ll remember former G-G, Sir Florizel Glasspole who was a serial kisser of beauty pageant contestants. Does Jamaica really need a local representative for Queen Elizabeth II? I think its full time we make this position redundant.