Wild Gustav?

“Wah-wah-wild Gilbert! Wicked, wicked Gilbert. Water come inna mi room mi sweep out some wid di broom...”

“...Lick dem Jah, gwaan go dweet a dem did gi di dread pork fi eat. Jook dem Jah wid storm an tundah tear off dem roof and bruk dem windah!!!”

Remember that song by Lovindeer about Hurricane Gilbert? Gilbert came to Jamaican shores some twenty years ago on September 12, 1988. I can’t help but notice the similarities, they both were formed in the latter part of the hurricane season and both names begin with the letter “G”. Let’s just hope that's where the similarities end.

Take all the necessary precautions and keep safe my friends.

Electricity, a luxury item?

The Jamaica Public Service done lost their minds! I got the shock of my life this morning when I opened my electricity bill. The amount due looked more like a phone number or the population of a small island. I live in an apartment, not a two storey house. I don’t run a funeral home or a meat shop. How can my energy bill be in excess of nine thousand dollars? Their customer care lines have been busy all morning, I suspect that even JPS employees are calling to query their bills too. Apparently electricity has become a luxury item in Jamaica. I think it’s time I get over my dislike for the smell of kerosene. Now where did I put my Home Sweet Home Lamp?

Dear Uncle Sam

Dear Uncle Sam,
Sorry to hear about the recession, I hope all is well. I am watching the Olympics on TV as I write, it’s exciting isn’t it. Let me be the first to congratulate you on your victories, this Phelps guy really cleaned house huh? You’ve always been a sore loser and I know it’s hard for you to admit that Jamaica has emerged as the new power in track and field. The Beijing Olympics have clearly shown that your dominance has come to an end. Now for Christ’s sake quit all this whining and get over it already!

P.S. I’m still upset with you for sending cousin Fitzroy to Iraq.

Gussie

Beef patties, smaller?

Is it just me, or does it to seem to you that beef patties are shrinking? They seem to be much smaller than I remember them growing up as a child. Then again, it could be simply because my hands and my appetite have gotten much bigger over the years.

More sellers than buyers

With the recent crash of OLINT, Jamaica’s premier alternative investment club many Jamaicans are bracing for the ripple effects. This coupled with increases in the price of gas and food spell dark days for many Jamaicans. Persons are forced to liquidate their assets; SUVs, real estate, jet skis and jewellery are all on the auction block. Problem is the would-be consumers of these high end commodities are in the same predicament. Simply put, there are more sellers than buyers. The only item that seems to be flying off the shelves nowadays is “For Sale” signs.

Patriotism

Jamaicans celebrated their Independence on Wednesday (August 6th). Happy forty sixth Jamaica, It seems like just yesterday that Roy Rayon won the festival song competition with “Give thanks and praises we are twenty five”. Many Jamaicans, including yours truly do not celebrate nor observe our public holidays for what they really are. To many of us, they are just "red" week days on the calendar that mean we don’t have to go to work. I think patriotism is at an all time low in the land of wood and water. How many of us know the second verse of the anthem, the pledge and are able to name all seven national heroes? I wish that more Jamaicans would embrace their heritage and culture and stop adopting American traditions and holidays. Until then I’ll try to resist the urge to pour condensed milk into the outstretched palms of the kids at my apartment complex who make the mistake to come “trick or treating” at my door.